


I am not ugly (but I think I am now)

by kpopoppa



Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorder, Other, Ouran High School Host Club - Freeform, haruhi feels bad, self hate, tamaki hates himself, tamaki loves haruhi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2908448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpopoppa/pseuds/kpopoppa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stupid bet made up by the twins ends up sending Tamaki into a swirling depression with seemingly no end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am not ugly (but I think I am now)

HIKARU POV:  
“Ok guys.”  
I say to the club. Everyone is here but Tamaki, so I’ve come up with a joke to play on him. It’s pretty harmless and the winner gets money.  
“I have an idea for a joke to play on Tamaki. You know how he’s always calling himself “devastatingly handsome”? Well, my idea is, the first one to make him cry by calling him ugly in some format, gets $50 from all the loser.”  
I see them debating.  
“I’ll do it because I could really use the money.”  
Haruhi speaks.  
The other host club members agree because they think it’ll be funny to see Tamaki cry. So do I.  
TAMAKI POV:  
“Sorry I’m late guys.”  
Shit. I’m late again. This is the third meeting I’ve been late to, in a row!  
They all look at each other and laugh a little.  
“It’s fine lord. We were just about to play ‘Ugliest to Handsomest.’”  
Kyoya says. Well obviously I would be handsomest.  
“Well, I know that I’m the most handsome so put me in that spot.”  
I say. They all give each other a humoured look.   
“Um, lord, I actually think you’re the most ugly.”  
Kaoru says.  
“Who cares about your opinion?”  
I say. He must be joking.  
“No I believe so too Lord.”  
Honey.  
“Me too.”  
Hikaru.  
“Same here.”  
Miro.  
“I strongly agree.”  
Haruhi. Haruhi. She thinks I’m ugly? I feel cold now. I feel sick.  
“I-I don’t believe so.”  
Shit I stuttered.  
They all just look at me.  
“F-fine, just do what you think, I don’t care about your opinion anyway!”  
It’s false. So false. I care so much about what they think and if they think I’m ugly, then I must be. I can’t breathe. I press the fake call button on my phone. I need to get out of here.  
“I-its, my father, I have to go.”

I rush out of the room. I start to run back home.  
Don’t you dare cry!  
It’s hard not to. I feel the tears welling in my eyes. Shit. I reach my house and keep sprinting up the stairs until I get to my room I lock the door. I rush into the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Shit! I am ugly. My skin is so pale, my eyes are an odd colour, my jawline is too soft, my hair is the wrong shade of blonde and I’m just so disgusting. I don’t get how I ever thought I was handsome, or could look in the mirror and be ok with it.  
I slip into pyjamas. I’m too tired to bother showering so instead I just try and sleep. I toss and turn for hours, but I can’t fall asleep. Haruhi thinks I’m ugly. I feel tears cascade onto my face, dripping onto my pillow.  
I wake up to a knock on my door.  
“Lord! We have an early meeting!”  
Since when did they make plans without me?  
“Since when?”  
I call back.  
“Well, Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, and I can’t make it to the meetings later, so we’ve decided to have one now. You have 5 minutes to get ready.”  
I sigh. Might as well. I quickly get dressed and try and comb out some of the knots in my hair. I have no time to even make myself look slightly less ugly. The memories of last night come rushing back to me, hitting me with a huge wave of depression. I walk out and join the others how are sitting on the wall opposite my room. They all look up at me when they hear my door close and I feel self-conscious under their gaze.  
We arrive at music room 3 and hell (for me anyway) starts.  
“Did you even bother this morning?”  
Haruhi asks me.   
“With what?”   
I look at her and cock my head.  
“With your appearance. You look like shit!”  
Don’t I always?  
“I had 5 minutes.”  
I try and hide how much that hurts.  
“So? You could have powdered your face or something!”  
I roll my eyes. I should have. I’m an idiot.  
HARUHI POV:  
Honestly, Tamaki looks fine. He always looks good. He’s stunning. But I need the money. 50 bucks from each of the members is amazing, so I guess I’m gonna have to be harsh.  
“Maybe you should skip breakfast.”  
I see him look at me with fear in his eyes. Will this be it?  
“W-what are you saying?”  
I think I’ll regret this in the future, but the money.   
“You’ve gained weight.”  
He’s still the same weight he’s been the whole time I’ve known him.   
“Excuse me?”   
He questions.   
“Cut down on the cake.”  
I don’t mean it. He doesn’t need to at all, but $250. I need that.  
“O-ok.”  
Cry goddammit so I can tell you it’s just a bet and I don’t mean it! I don’t want him to actually cut down on the cake. I decide to stop talking now. I’m trying to make him cry, not mentally scar him (too late).  
TAMAKI POV:  
I feel my mouth go dry. So now I’m ugly and fat? Well I’m just the whole package aren’t I? When Haruhi gets up to leave I bury my face in my hands. Fuck. At least I can fix this. I can’t fix the fact I was ‘blessed’ with this face of mine, but I can fix the fact I’m a whale.  
I stumble into the school’s bathroom and pull up my shirt. I feel let out a chocked sob. Fuck I’ve gained so much weight. I walk back up, wipe my eyes and plaster on a smile. I’m happy. Yes, I know how to fix it.  
With shaky hands I go to sit down with the others.  
“Don’t eat it Senpai.”  
Haruhi reminds me. I feel tears welling. No.   
“I-I…”  
They hate me so much.  
I lower my head. I try and stop them but it just happens. Tear flow down my cheeks. I hear the others cheer. I send them a strange look.  
“He cried. Haruhi, here’s your money.”  
I see them hand Haruhi $50. I send them a confused look.  
“It was a bet Senpai to see who could make you cry first by calling you ugly in some way. Haruhi just did it for the money, we did it for fun.”  
Haruhi sends me a guilty look. Oh.  
“Ok.”  
I say. I don’t really know what else I can say.  
“You’re ok now, Senpai.”  
Haruhi asks me.  
“I, um, yeah, I guess.”  
No. I’m not really. But that’s fine. Because, I’m not ugly, but I think I am now.


End file.
